Author: snarkysprout
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The Circle of Life: Homestead Edition
Welp, it happened. One of our farm cats just had kittens. Four came into the world, three decided to stick around. And just like that, my children got a front-row seat to the miracle (and harsh reality) of life in one single morning. Because nothing says “life lessons” quite like watching birth happen in real-time…
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Overwhelmed & Under-Caffeinated: A Homestead Update
Overwhelmed? Same. So, you may have noticed that Snarky Sprout has been a little…silent. Like, “Did she get eaten by a rogue raccoon?” silent. But no, I’m still here, just buried under a mountain of life, chaos, and probably a load of laundry that’s been “air drying” for three weeks and starting to mold. Life…
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Turkey Trauma: What To Do With Your Leftover Thanksgiving Bird
So, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, its not a thing in my home, but I do love me a good turkey.. Now that Thanksgiving is over for most, you’re finding yourself staring at your fridge wondering how a single bird could have so much meat left after Aunt Carol’s third helping. Rest assured, the overwhelm is…
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Pickle-Pocalypse: Why $6 Jars Are for Suckers and How to DIY Your Way to Brine Glory
You’ve seen it. That pitiful jar of pickles on the grocery shelf with a $6 price tag, looking smug like it’s the artisanal gold of cucumbers. SIX DOLLARS for water, vinegar, and cucumbers that have been hanging out together for a few weeks? I mean, I love pickles, but not “skip-a-week-of-gas” love them. Let me…
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Winter Prep in the Sticks: Why My House Looks Like a Squirrel’s Hoard Gone Wild
As winter rolls in and the frost starts to form, something clicks in the rural brain, a little alarm that whispers: “Better get ready. You don’t want to run out of anything important.” And suddenly, I’m morphing into the ultimate squirrel, stashing away every imaginable “nut”—but in my case, it’s mason jars packed to the…
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Halloween on the Homestead: Why I’m Opting Out of Trick-or-Treat This (and Every) Year
Ah, Halloween. The one night a year we practically encourage kids to dress up, knock on strangers’ doors, and beg for candy—the very thing we spend the other 364 days warning them not to do. Seems legit? Its a hard pass for me. But let’s be real: beyond the 513 reasons to not engage or…
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Hens Gone Wild: How I’m Handling an Eggplosion Without Losing My Mind
So now I have more chickens than I know what to do with, and here I am, knee-deep in eggs. Let me tell you, no one warned me about what would happen. I started out with a dream: fresh eggs, some adorable hens pecking around my yard, maybe a cute chicken coop for Instagram—#homesteadinggoals, right?…
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Chicken Math: The Hidden Equation No One Warns You About
I’ll be honest—when I first dipped my toes into the world of backyard chickens, I thought it would be simple. “I’ll get five chickens,” I said, with the utmost confidence in my ability to resist temptation. “Just enough for fresh eggs!” And then chicken math kicked in. You see, chicken math is real. It’s sneaky.…
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Snarky Survival Guide: How to Handle Children, Chores, and Chickens Without Losing Your Mind
So now you’ve decided to trade in urban dwelling for rural living. Welcome to the delightful chaos of homesteading! If you thought juggling children, chores, and chickens was a piece of cake, I’m here to remind you that it’s more like trying to balance flaming torches while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. But fear…
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The Truth About Homesteading That No One Tells You
Ah, homesteading—the idyllic life of raising your own food, living off the land, and finding peace in nature, right? Yeah, not quite. Let me just rip that fantasy away from you before you’re neck-deep in mud, cursing your life choices, and wondering why you didn’t get that nice condo in the city with the HOA…