So now I have more chickens than I know what to do with, and here I am, knee-deep in eggs. Let me tell you, no one warned me about what would happen. I started out with a dream: fresh eggs, some adorable hens pecking around my yard, maybe a cute chicken coop for Instagram—#homesteadinggoals, right? Fast forward, and my once peaceful mornings have turned into an all-you-can-eat egg buffet, and I’m the chef who didn’t sign up for this.
My hens have officially gone wild. These egg-laying machines have turned my cozy homestead into an eggpocalypse, and I’m just trying to stay afloat in a sea of yolks. It’s not just a couple of eggs, oh no. It’s dozens, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And before you know it, my counter is overflowing, the fridge is overflowing, my neighbors won’t answer the door when they see me with another egg carton, and I’m seriously considering making eggs the currency of my household.
The Egg List (aka What I Do All Day Now)
If you’ve ever seen Forrest Gump, think of that scene where Bubba lists every shrimp dish under the sun. Yeah, that’s me now, but with eggs. Eggs are the fruit of the farm. You can fry ‘em, scramble ‘em, boil ‘em, bake ‘em… heck, you could probably make a casserole out of ‘em if you’re desperate enough. There’s scrambled eggs, poached eggs, boiled eggs, fried eggs, deviled eggs, you can make egg omelettes, egg frittatas, egg quiche, egg custard, meringue, hell, there’s even egg flan…and when I get really desperate, I make them into random casseroles, throw them in smoothies, or barter them with neighbors who still tolerate me.
Storing Eggs Like My Life Depends On It (Because It Kind of Does)
Here’s the thing: right now, I’m drowning in eggs…but very, very soon, winter’s going to roll around, and my hens will give me nothing. It’s a real feast-or-famine situation, and I have to plan ahead (because obviously, I’m now a survivalist by necessity). So, what do I do?
- Freezing: Yup, you can freeze eggs. Whisk them, freeze them, and use them later when the birds decide they’re “on break.” (I recommend using a silicone cupcake pan for this. Learn from my mistake, its nearly impossible to pry frozen eggs from a metal pan)
- Water Glassing: Sounds weird, but you store fresh eggs in a lime-water solution, and they’ll last up to a year. Seriously. (We can get into this later)
- Pickling: Not my personal favorite, but hey, when you have a billion eggs, you have to get creative. Pickled eggs for everyone! (it kinda makes me want to vomit though)
- Dehydrating: Because powdered eggs aren’t just for the zombie apocalypse—they’re for when I’m too lazy to defrost anything and just need eggs now.
It’s Not Just Eggs—It’s the Full Farm Chaos
But wait, there’s more! Chickens aren’t my only chaos-inducers. Between my children and these clucking egg factories, I’m basically a full-time circus master. The chickens are constantly breaking things (coops, feeders, you name it), my kids are constantly breaking things and are either trying to smuggle eggs into their toy boxes, or running around like madmen like I’m raising feral humans… and I’m over here trying to hold onto any shred of sanity I may possibly still possess.
I’ve learned things I never thought I would—like how to fix broken fences, unclog a coop drain (yeah, gross), and manage an egg overload without losing my mind.
In the end, as overwhelming as it gets, I wouldn’t trade this chaotic, yolk-filled life for anything. Well, maybe for fewer eggs (ok, not really). And maybe for a couple of days off (definitely). But otherwise, I’m in this for the long haul, eggs and all.
So, there you have it—hens gone wild, eggs galore, and somehow, I’m still here, maybe a little cracked but surviving.
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