Ah, homesteading—the idyllic life of raising your own food, living off the land, and finding peace in nature, right? Yeah, not quite. Let me just rip that fantasy away from you before you’re neck-deep in mud, cursing your life choices, and wondering why you didn’t get that nice condo in the city with the HOA that does your snow removal and fixes your siding. Homesteading is hard. The Instagram-perfect photos of mason jars and wildflowers are only about 1% of the reality. The rest? Well, let me clue you in on the real deal.
You Will Always Be Dirty (And That’s Just the Start)
Let’s get one thing clear: if you want to stay clean, homesteading is not for you. Yeah, those perfectly manicured and polished fingernails have no place on a farm. New white shoes? Forget about it. Dirt becomes your new best friend. Whether you’re pulling weeds, fixing fences, or wrangling a rogue chicken, the mud and grime are endless. You’ll stop worrying about clean nails after week one, and showers? More like occasionally necessary interruptions to your already chaotic day.
The Weather Doesn’t Care About Your Feelings
Let me clue you in here: Mother Nature doesn’t give AF. Depending on where you live, prepping for storms and winter is the ultimate game of “will my farm survive?” If you thought you could just enjoy four beautiful seasons, think again. Winter doesn’t come politely knocking—it barges in like an unwanted guest, freezing everything in its path, including your pipes and your soul. Prepping for the cold means ensuring your animals have adequate shelter, your water lines don’t freeze, you have adequate rations to sustain you and your livestock through many, many days of blowing snow and prepping to ensure that your equipment is ready to endure the cold (even though it probably won’t). Being snowed in comes with the territory, but if you’re prepared, you can spend your days sipping coffee and baking cookies instead of panicking.
Severe storms don’t give you a heads-up either. You’ll learn to tie down everything that isn’t bolted into the ground, double-check your fences, and wonder why you didn’t invest in a better rain jacket. You will learn to live by the weather. Go ahead, add amateur weatherman to your list of skills.
Equipment Will Break (All the Time)
Got a tractor? Great. It will break. Got a rototiller? Yeah, that’s going to break too. Equipment on the homestead breaks like it’s on a mission to see how fast it can send you into a meltdown. Whether it’s a snapped belt on the tractor, a busted hose on the water pump, or a fence post that just refuses to stay upright, something is always going wrong. And repairs? They cost a small fortune. It’s not just about knowing how to run the machinery; you’ll also become an amateur mechanic whether you like it or not.
Your Well and Septic System Will Betray You
Speaking of broken things, let’s talk about the joys of well and septic systems. City folk, you’ve had it too easy with that endless flow of water and flushable toilets. On a homestead, your water supply depends on your well, and let me tell you, when the well pump breaks, it’s the kind of nightmare you can’t just throw money at (though it’ll take plenty of money). Septic systems? If they’re not maintained, get ready for backups, odors, and possibly the worst day of your life.
Here’s the harsh truth: wells go dry, septic tanks clog, and when they fail, it’s never at a convenient time. Do yourself a favor and stay on top of maintenance before you’re ankle-deep in a mess that even the strongest stomach would struggle with.
You’ll Do Things That Scare You
When I first started homesteading, I thought “oh, I’ll plant some vegetables and gather eggs, no big deal.” Fast forward to now, and I’ve learned how to birth goats, run heavy machinery, and chop down trees. It’s not glamorous, but when you’re faced with a task that needs doing, you figure it out real quick. There’s something empowering about it though—doing things that terrify you just to keep things running. But be warned: it’s not all hand-stitched quilts and herbal teas. Sometimes it’s welding equipment in the middle of a thunderstorm and praying you don’t become a human lightning rod.
Homesteading Is Expensive (I Mean, Really Expensive)
Here’s another shocker: homesteading isn’t as cheap as everyone thinks. Sure, you’re not paying for overpriced lattes anymore, but now you’re dropping hundreds (or thousands) on equipment, seeds, feed, fencing, and don’t even get me started on vet bills for the animals. Building your homestead is a massive investment, and if you think you can just “wing it,” you’ll quickly learn how fast that mindset drains your bank account.
Companion Planting and Timing Your Garden
I’ll get more into this in future posts, but let me tell you: planting a garden isn’t just about tossing seeds in the dirt and hoping for the best. The magic of companion planting (where some plants help each other thrive) and timing your garden can make or break your harvest. Plant the wrong things together, or at the wrong time, and you’ll find yourself staring at sad, wilted crops instead of the bounty you were dreaming of.
Pro Tip: Keep a planting calendar, study your local growing season, and pair your plants like you’re arranging a perfect dinner party. It’s all about who gets along and who doesn’t.
Learning to Preserve and Can Your Food
The good news? Once you figure out how to grow a successful garden, you’ll have more food than you know what to do with. The bad news? That food doesn’t last forever, which means you’ll need to learn the art of canning, freezing, and preserving. It’s not a skill most of us grew up with, but it’s crucial if you want to eat through the winter without spending a fortune at the grocery store. Expect your pantry to be filled with mason jars, your hands to smell like vinegar, and your freezer to be packed with all the fruits (and mistakes) of your labor.
The Takeaway: Homesteading Is Worth It (But It’s No Picnic)
At the end of the day, homesteading is both brutal and beautiful. It’s exhausting, dirty, and full of things you never thought you’d have to learn or do. But it’s also rewarding in a way that’s hard to explain unless you’ve been there—raising your own food, seeing your hard work grow, and knowing you’re creating something real, messy, and lasting. Stick around and I’ll help guide you through it all, from prepping for winter to learning how to manage the chaos of the homesteading life.
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