<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every so often, someone will casually ask, \u201cHey, why is the tractor still broken?\u201d Or, \u201cWasn\u2019t that tree on the power line\u2026 like, four years ago?\u201d Or my personal favorite, \u201cWhy is your yard light still out?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Listen, Linda. I would love nothing more than to check off my never-ending homestead to-do list. But here\u2019s the thing\u2014I am the ringmaster of a three-ring circus where the lions are children, the monkeys are barn cats, and the clowns are my own damn farm chores.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s walk through a typical day, shall we?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I try<\/em> to wake up early for some quiet time. If the gods smile upon me, I might get a solid five minutes of peace before chaos knocks on the door like it pays rent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kids wake up\u2014loudly. Breakfast happens. So do dishes. Then it\u2019s off to feed every living being within a 200-foot radius who now relies on me for survival. Chickens. Dogs. Cats. More chickens. Possibly a rogue raccoon. Who knows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then it\u2019s homeschool time, where I attempt to teach phonics while simultaneously stopping a toddler from feeding the kitten crayons. Suddenly, it\u2019s lunch again because apparently these small people insist on eating multiple times a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And just when I think maybe, just maybe<\/em>, I can fix the yard light or drag a tree branch off a power line\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udea8 Someone screams. The kitten peed on the kid. Now they both<\/em> need baths. Forget the coffee I made this morning. That ship sailed before the rooster even crowed. At this point, I need tequila served with a side of \u201cno one speak to me for 30 minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because I\u2019m out here putting out 972 metaphorical fires a day with a teaspoon of sanity and an empty wine bottle. That\u2019s why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So if you see the same broken tractor, the same fallen tree, or the same flickering yard light, just know\u2014it\u2019s not laziness. It\u2019s life. Loud, unpredictable, piss-soaked life. And one day I will<\/em> get to it\u2026 probably right after I bleach the rugs, feed everyone again, and rehome the kitten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Until then\u2014mind the chicken poop and pour me another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Every so often, someone will casually ask, \u201cHey, why is the tractor still broken?\u201d Or, \u201cWasn\u2019t that tree on the power line\u2026 like, four years ago?\u201d Or my personal favorite, \u201cWhy is your yard light still out?\u201d Listen, Linda. I would love nothing more than to check off my never-ending homestead to-do list. But here\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
\ud83d\udea8 Mid-bath, the cat saunters into the road. I sprint after it like an Olympic track star in barn boots.
\ud83d\udea8 Return to find chicken shit everywhere<\/em>, including the living room carpet\u2014thanks to someone who forgot to take off their shoes.
\ud83d\udea8 As I\u2019m shampooing the rug, the damn kitten pees on another<\/em> one.
\ud83d\udea8 Snack demands commence.
\ud83d\udea8 Dinner prep begins.
\ud83d\udea8 Neighbor stops by for \u201ca quick chat\u201d that lasts longer than my will to live.
\ud83d\udea8 Dog tries to eat a cat.
\ud83d\udea8 Chickens resume pooping on the porch like it\u2019s a public restroom.
\ud83d\udea8 Cat pees on a blanket.<\/p>\n\n\n\nSo\u2026 Why Isn\u2019t Anything Done?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n